Losing Tessa
by kbdizzle
Summary: They were indeed in a rather precarious situation, Jem noted. He was watching Will, but Will was watching Tessa, and Tessa had her nose stuck in a book as per usual. Their eyes met. A brilliant blue struck by the lightning that was Jem's eyes. Will swallowed. He had been caught. A story based on the concept of Jem finding out Will's affections for Tessa a bit earlier than planned
1. Chapter 1: Losing Tessa

Losing Tessa

**Jem's pov**

_I'm going mad_, Jem thought to himself. Tessa, sat before him in a lovely dusty rose dress. The top rimmed with lace that flattened against her chest when she breathed. It was light weight and rippled in the wind like a small pond that had been disturbed. Her snow white skin was flushed from their previous activities - they had been playing in the fading summer sun all day. Jem taught her some notes on the violin while Tessa taught him the New York two-step. Now they lay next to each other on the grass, hands entwined. Tessa's hair was falling out of its intricately plaited up-do. The handiwork of Sophie no doubt. Jem reached over to brush it back.

Tessa, eyes closed, basking in the summer sun and warm breeze, smiled at the touch, but didn't turn her head to look at him though he knew she could feel his stare. This is what was driving him insane. This odd peacefulness; he could feel something in the wind bringing with it a change he could not understand. Was it a sign that his ever present death was growing nearer? He did not know. He did know however, that Tessa was slipping away from him. There was no sign that told him that, but everyday his heart grew colder for some reason he could not comprehend. The feeling only intensified when he looked at Tessa. _So this what it feels like_, he thought, _to lose Tessa._

**Will's pov**

_So this is what it feels like to lose Tessa _thought Will. It was surprisingly easy to watch her love Jem. It was not, on the other hand, easy to continue loving her while she loved Jem. It was funny that his love for his brother didn't stop him from going after Tessa. Surely he was truly evil through and through. He'd accept it if it meant Tessa would be back in his arms. Turning away from the window where he had been watching Tessa and Jem lie in the grass together, he retrieved his cloak, and stepped into the corridor.

The light only reached so far, the rest of the hallway was draped in darkness, still Will walked on. Living in such a large institute, getting from one wing to the other, was a rather daunting process. For protection the London institute with it's simple and elegant floor plan was secretly a vast maze of hidden doors and shrouded corridors. Many minutes must have passed, but for Will it felt like only a second before he bumped into something or rather someone.

"Will, would you be so kind as to look where you're going next time," said Tessa, now looking up at Will from her sitting position on the ground. Apparently their collision was bit more forceful than Will originally thought.

"Tessa, I told you not to get dazzled by my beauty. Consider yourself lucky, I've had women collapse at the mere sight of me in the past."

"Surely they collapsed just to avoid you. Very funny. Help me up will you?"

Will did as he was told and pulled her to her feet. Albeit, with a little too much force and she fell into him, their chests hitting with a thud. Will watched as the blood rushed to her cheeks. He internally sighed. How would he ever get over such a beautiful sight. Their proximity triggered him. She was terribly close and had yet to move. Her scent filled his nose, dizzying his senses. Slowly, as if she were fragile glass Will lifted his hand to her cheek. Her grey eyes widened but she did not move. Slipping his hand from her cheek to her neck, he pulled blindy.

Tessa's hair cascaded like a waterfall around her. Will looked at her for a moment. Her cheeks flushed, hair undone and her dress slightly unbuttoned. A familiar wanting boiled in his stomach. Pulling her close to him Will closed his eyes and leaned in. He felt her stiffen her hands rising to his chest, not to grasp him, but to push him away. To do ultimately what she was suppose to do. He opened his eyes. Tessa stared at him, her eyes wide and searching. He felt her grip tighten on his shirt and for a moment he let his imagination carry him to a place where Tessa loved him as much as he loved her. J_ust for a moment. A_nd then the moment was gone_._ For reasons unclear to himself he pushed her away with enough momentum that her back hit the wall and without a second glance Will walked past her and into the shadows.

**Jem's pov**

Will's room was a mess as always. It didn't affect Jem in the least. He cleared a spot on Will's bed and sat down on the edge to wait. The time had come.


	2. Chapter 2: Confrontation

**Will's Pov**

His earlier interaction with Tessa left him reeling - at himself, for being an idiot. Surely he could have handled that better. He shook off the incident with a dismissive wave of his hand and climbed the stairs to the attic. An overwhelming fatigue plagued his body and he desired nothing more than the comfort of his own isolation. Perhaps he could sleep his regret away.

As a man who loved his privacy Will was never one to let people in, metaphorically and literally. There was a reason he chose the attic as his bedroom. Situated in the most eastern wing of the institute, it was difficult to find, and physically challenging to get to. The winding staircase, and dimly lit corridor made it a rather unappealing place to call home. Groggily he pushed himself through the door, not noticing the pale figure seated camly on the edge of the bed.

Will's room was small in comparison to the rooms located just a floor below him. It was simple. His bed lay in the middle of the room. A humble mahogany twin pedestal desk coupled with his dated, but miraculously still standing cherry wood, leather armchair was pushed dejectedly to the corner of the room. Adjourned by a dresser, coat rack, and if one stood in front of the bed, his own private retiring room was settled respectfully in the farthest right side of the room. Conveniently separated by a small partition and door.

Unceremoniously he kicked his shoes off while lazily draping his overcoat over the armchair. Looking up in the mirror that adorned the wall he agreed that he looked tired. A delicate figure in the background made him turn with a start.

"James?!" exclaimed Will, visibly shaken by his univited guest.

"Will" Said James amusedly. A small smile lifting his fairy-like features.

"You must take pleasure in catching me off guard"

"Well it's not everyday one catches you off guard William."

_Damn it,_ thought WiIl. _He had been caught. _Maintaining his composure Will walked to the other side of the bed and lazily flung himself down next to Jem. Picking up a random book from his nightstand he began flipping through the pages, absorbing nothing. Jem's slight frame barely left a discernible impression in the mattress. Jem's impending expiration date flashed before Will's mind before that too, was dismissed. He peeked at Jem who's back still faced him. _Interesting._ Usually Jem would have played along. Comfortably laying next to him they would've spent the next few hours enjoying each others company. A heavy silence hung in between, and for the first time Will felt almost strange, if not genuinely uncomfortable in his parabtai's presence. Adjusting himself to a sitting position, he looked at Jem's back. Waiting.

**Jem's Pov**

Jem watched Will. His sluggish movements contrasting with his obviously distracted mind amused Jem. It was a rare occurrence to see Will genuinely distracted. As someone who always had his guard up, this Will was a pleasant, if not slightly mystical sight to see._ What is he thinking about_? Jem followed Will with his eyes patiently waiting to be noticed. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation, let alone, the oddity of having caught Will off guard, Jem would have laughed at the startled look on Will's face. As WIll came to sit by him, Jem debated confronting him. They could go on like this. Jem would only have to ask him what he's reading, Will would mumble some nonsense having surely read the book already, and Jem would go along with it. They would act as thought irked Jem for reasons unknown to himself. He stood and turned, their eyes meeting. Will looked at him cautiously, expectantly, and perhaps if Jem was correct - fearfully.

"I waited quite some time for you, were you caught up in one of your antics again?" Jem asked.

Ducking his head so Jem couldn't read his eyes Will replied calmly "Of course. A day where I'm not wreaking havoc on the poor and downtrodden of London's finest is an odd day indeed."

Jem snorted, unamused, but willing to play along, "说谎者"

"What did you just call me?" said Will in mock anger

Jem smiled. _Not Today, h_e thought to himself.

"You seem tired. I'll let you be." said Jem turning on his heel. Subconsciously he could feel what undoubtedly must have been the incredulous look on Will's face. Stunned just as Jem was at Jem's uncharacteristic behavior.

Jem's hand met with the cold door handle and before he could stop himself he turned and looked at Will, who returned his gaze with a questioning stare.

"Tessa…" trailed Jem. He watched Will's eyes widened minutely. A gesture he would have missed if it wasn't for the fact that he was looking for it, for anything, that would give him clarity.

"What about her?" Asked Will innocently.

Shaking his head, Jem smiled. "Nothing."

The door clicked behind him. The silence was deafening.


	3. Chapter 3: Aftermath

**Tessa's Pov**

Flushed. She felt flushed. Putting her hands to cheeks she could feel the warmth there. She shook her head as if she could physically shake away her emotions. His soft eyes, his rough but gentle hands, the look of hesitation, the look of desire. The look of desire. Yes, that's it, that's all they had between them. Will had made that very clear that night on the balcony. Her innocent heart giddy at the thought she could remain with the man she lov-

"Tessa." A soft voice called behind her.

Turning with a gasp, Tessa caught sight of Jem. Her betrothed, her future husband. The man she would walk beside until his dying day. But no one knew that yet.

"Did I startle you?" said Jem. His silver eyes sparkling with amusement at the look on her face, and some other emotion she couldn't quite read.

"Oh well yes, I mean no. A little. I was daydreaming I suppose," said Tessa with a shaky smile. Embarrassed at having been caught off guard, and a bit ashamed at her own thoughts.

Jem walked up to her, a small smile dancing on his lips, a look of exasperated endearment on his face. He said nothing in reply, but caught her hand,interlacing their fingers. They made their way back down the hall, as the sun also decided to make its way to rest.

**Jem's Pov**

What were the odds he had been able to catch both Will and Tessa off guard. This was normal with Tessa, as she always had her head in a cloud. Thoughts, whether good or bad consumed her endlessly and it was a world Jem still found himself trying to enter. It had never mattered to him before now. When she accepted his proposal, besides his immense joy and relief, he told himself he would bask in the enjoyment of getting to know her better for the rest - well for the rest of his life, however long that may be.

But what was she thinking now? What happened in the time it took for him to make his way to Will's room. Why did she look, well... flushed? Why was Will so unlike himself, seemingly having been knocked out of his composure, even for a just a moment. Jem felt isolated suddenly. The people he cared for the most in the world seemed far away today.

Consumed by his own thoughts, it took him a moment to realize they weren't walking anymore, having made their way to their rooms already. He caught Tessa's eye and she looked at him questioningly. _Damn it, I've been caught_, he thought to himself.

Tessa smiled lovingly. He felt his heart pick up pace.

"something on your mind?" she asked softly.

"Mm well... 您" said Jem with a smile, admiring the faint trace of a blush on her cheeks. Pleased with his reward. Her hand tightened around his as she looked back at the closed door of her own room. Reluctant to let go just yet.

Unsure what exactly he meant when the words left his mouth, he leaned in closer. They stood in the middle of the hallway, facing each other, both hands held by the other person. Neither able to meet the others eye. scared, but curious what they would find there. Finally willing himself to meet her eyes he found hers nearly closed, looking down. contemplative. _thinking_. Then in an almost indecipherable manner, she nodded. _Yes_.

Slowly he stepped back, freeing one of his hands from her grasp, to turn the door knob. Leading them slowly into his own room. The door shut with a soft click behind them.


	4. Chapter 4: Sighted

Sophie Collins was indeed perplexed.

Having witnessed something she surely wasn't supposed to. And not quite knowing how she should feel about it. It wasn't like she hadn't seen her fair share of lovers stowing away in the shadows of corridors, linen closets, and so on, but those had been strangers, guests, never before had they been what Sophie would perhaps dare to call friends.

Upon request from a certain fair haired shadowhunter and having been preoccupied by her own thoughts, it had occurred to her she had made too many scones. Unwillingly to be scolded for wasting food she made haste to find a companion to share them with before escorting them to their final destination. One could dare to say she was stalling, but really she was just avoiding Ms. Agatha's wrath. At least that's what she believed herself to be doing. that is until she found her unrequited love and dear friend stealing heated glances in the middle of the hallway. Sophie felt flushed under the collar when she saw Tessa follow Jem silently into his room.

She didn't dare let her imagination carry her further. Instead she abruptly turned on her heel. Too many scones be damned, She'd just leave them in Gideon's room. Besides this was the 7th order in seven days. Perhaps Gideon had a scone fetish, perhaps it wasn't just the scones he liked. She could feel the heat rise to her cheeks and prayed silently she didn't run into anyone, especially Will, as she made her way to Gideon's room, leaving two silent lovers, heated glances, and a closed door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5: Burn

****** PLEASE READ THIS NOTE: I do not have the original copies of the infernal devices with me. Hence some scenes, timelines, and events are a bit warped not only to fit my story line, but because I don't own the books for reference. Unfortunately I do have to take some liberties with these scenes. I hope it does not take you, dear reader, out of the story line. Thank you for the support up until now. I am always grateful**

****** I have made small revisions to this chapter for grammatical and reading purposes. The plot remains the same. 01/12/2020**

Somewhere in the back of her mind it vaguely occurred to Tessa that she must have lost 20 hair pins between the time Will left her in the hallway and entering Jem's room. Her shoes lay hapharzardly on the floor to the right of Jem's bed. She sat - languidly lounging in Jem's armchair, her hair cascading down her back, her stocking covered feet peeking flirtatiously from the bottom of her heavy skirt. She ached to rid herself of her day dress. It was evening, they'd be having dinner soon. Sophie would be at her room to help her change and again once more before bed. But right now her lover was playing a tune only she understood and she basked in his melody. She loved this part of the evening. The time when Jem played for her. Usually it happened much later on, when most of the insitute had settled down to rest. She had been a bit perplexed when Jem invited her into his room. They usually met after dinner and engaged or not, it was inappropriate for her to be here. Meeting after dinner meant less of a risk of getting caught.

She had hesitated at first, her mind running through every reason to say no and finally settling on the only reason to yes. It was Jem. How could she refuse. It was Jem and every moment with him was precious, she wasn't about to waste time upholding proper etiquette.

She watched him closely, his sharp facial features relaxed. Ironically, it was Jem, not Will, who was all angles and sharp lines. His bones protruding sharply over taught skin. He moved like a dancer, every movement coming together to tell a story. He moved his hands over his violin as in a trance. The room was dimly lit save for a plethora of candles and a bright fire place crackling soothingly in the corner. Tessa felt sleepy and warm, Jem's melody seemed to envelope her like a warm hug and she felt herself drift.

"Does my music bore you love?" asked Jem with a hint of amusement.

The music had stopped. Without opening her eyes Tessa replied, "On the contrary it's so entertainig It has seemingly put me in a trance,"

"I see. Well it won't due to have you so entranced you miss dinner"

Tessa opened her eyes to meet Jem's gaze. His smile was kind, but his eyes relayed there would be little room for protest. They didn't want to get caught before announcing their engagement on their own. Besdies, tonight was the night. They would announce their engagement to everyone - including Will, thought Tessa to herself. There would be no going back after this and she prayed that no one steal Jem's joy with the obvious, while also wishing deperately that her conflcting emotions did not betray her either.

"I do wonder what will be discussed at dinner tonight so that I should not miss it." Tessa teased.

Jem smiled, " I wonder myself, probably something dreadfully boring or perhaps impossibly wonderful."

His voice had softened to barely a whisper at the end. He was quite close now, having put away his violin, he bent in front of her, his arms resting on the chair, encapsulating her. She could feel her stomach tighten with the anticipation of a kiss. She prayed to never forget such a feeling. Jem bent his head as if to kiss her and Tessa eagerly closed her eyes. Waiting. But she was met with the ghosting of lips across hers and a breathy laugh. She frowned, opening her eyes, Jem's breath tickled as he spoke close to her ear. It was an odd sensation, but one she thought she perhaps enjoyed.

'Sophie will be at your door soon. You should be there to greet her" said Jem as he pulled back to meet her eyes.

He laughed at Tessa's frowining face and offered her his hand. A wave of deja vu hit Tessa immediately as she was pulled flush to Jem's chest. Unlike Will, Jem was gentle. Instead of a passionate embrace, Jem had pulled her into an encouraging hug, tucking her head beneath his chin.

"Tonight I will annouce to the world that you are mine."

Tessa felt her heart soar at the proclamation, but it didn't quell the iciness pooling in her stomach.

"Always" She promised.

...

Tessa stared at her reflection in the mirror. She felt slightly overdressed. Sophie had taken a particulalry long time with her hair, as if sensing something would happen at dinner. She had given her playful knowing glances as she helped her get ready. Tessa had a feeling Sophie knew exactly what was going to be announced at dinner. Sophie had even laid out one of Tessa's nicer evening dresses. It was a deep royal blue with pearls runnig down the middle, billowing out at the hip with just a touch of ruching. If Sophie had questioned where all of Tessa's hair pins had gone she made no mention of it. like clockwork Sophie had come prepared with handful of delicate looking hair pins, each adroned with a small pearl at the end.

It was enough for anyone who looked at her to notice some effort had been put into her appearance, but informal enough that the she didn't feel ridiculous. Like many times before Tessa was hit with a wave of gratefulness for Sophie's ability to understand her better than she understood herself. This is exactly what she had imagined when she thought of annoucning her engagement. She wanted it to be normal, just like how she'd witnessed girls in America announce their engagements. She didn't want this to be a grand mockery of Jem's mortality. They were allowed normalcy. They deserved it. Even if her relationship with Jem was anything but normal she was determined to live as best she could with the little they had both been given. Holding onto each other - that would be enough.

Sophie departed and soft knock signaled Jem had arrived to escort his bride to be to dinner. Tessa opened the door and Jem's smile was psoitive radiant.

"Shall we go m'lady?" inquired jem, sticking his elbow out for her to grasp.

"Why of course good sir."

They made their way to the dinner hall and Tessa's nerves threatened to spill over. She was sure she was shaking. She had dreamed of this day as a little girl, but the reality of it seemed so far that she didnt dare dream it possible. With her hand tucked in Jem's they stopped at the entrance to the dining hall. Gideon and Gabriel sat next each other, heads bent seemingly in good natured banter. Henry sat at the head of the table and Charlotte stood by his chair fretting over a fresh hole in the arm of Henry's jacket. Will sat in usual seat, at the farthest end of the table, the seat next to him noticably absent where his parabatai should've been. Bridget and Sophie busied themselves placing food on the table and resumed their positions at the back of the room. Having arrived deliberately late, all eyes turned to the awkward couple standing in the door way. There Tessa and Jem stood hands enterwined as their lives depended on it.

The looks ranged between shock, confusion, amusement, and even perhaps annoyance. Tessa didn't dare look in Will's direction. Absolutely terrified of what she would find there. She heard Jem inhale deeply, she squeezed his hand and saw the corner of his lip twitch upwards in a smile.

"Everyone, I have an announce-" but Jem was cut off rather abruptly by a ringing of the door bell.

The sudden tension had their eyes shifting towards where the main entrance would be. Moments later and contrary to the bright rays of sunshine this morning, a very wet, young girl, with snow white skin, ebony hair, and piercing blue eyes stood determinedly in the entrance way of the dining hall next to a very startled Jem and Tessa.

"William Herondale" Said the girl with the remanants of an accent Tessa could not place, "I've come to take you home"

Said William Herondale, now standing, looked at this young girl with something just short of horror and perhaps even fear. Tessa noted this was the first time she had ever seen Will in a state of truly raw emotion - even if it was only for just a moment. She watched the gears in Will's head turn as he tried to grasp what was going on. It took Tessa merely seconds. This girl was Will's younger sister, come to take her brother home. Will cleared his throat and walked almost nonchalantly toward his sister and now the four of them stood in the entrance way looking like a rather odd group of individuals. Jem standing by Tessa's side - a bit disheartened, Tessa next to Jem - positively bewildered by the sudden change in events, Will next to Tessa, just barely hanging on to his carefree facade and a sopping wet Cecily Herondale, radiant and defiant and every bit like her rebellious older brother.

"Please excuse the interruption everyone. It appears we have a guest. This is Cecily Herondale, my little sister. Right, now that introductions have been made I must do only what is good and just and escort this young lady home." said Will.

Cecily would do no such thing, and turned roughly from Will's extended arm. Facing the rooms she declared rather roughly  
"If my brother is to remain at the institute, so shall I"

Sensing an outright war Charlotte stood quickly to manage the situation.

"Any relative of William is a welcomed guest at the institute. First we must see to it you have a change of clothes. A room shall be made ready for you Ms. Herondale in a few moments. However, I must note that you came at a rather eventful time, our dear friend Jem was just about to announce some rather important news, and I myself have an announcement to make. Please go ahead Jem"

The room was met with a heavy beat of silence before Jem cleared his throat "Fret not Charlotte, the announcement can wait. It appears tonight shall be devoted to welcoming Cecily Herondale."

Tessa looked at her husband -to- be in shock. If she was bewildered before she was absoluetly baffeld now, but she had no time to ask questions before Charlotte was speaking again.

"That is very kind of you James. Well we certainly weren't expecting a new member of the institute to show up tonight, but Ms. Herondale shall not be the only person we add to the list," said Charlottle, her hand dropping almost subconsciously to her stomach. At some point Henry had come to stand behind her, his hand placed on the small of her back, a shockingly intitmate gesture between such a seemingly platonic couple, "I am happy to announce that Henry and I are expecting!"

The room erupted into shouts of joy, clapping, and laughter. Tessa was taken inby the joy of the situation, and thought for just a moment perhaps it was a good thing Jem had not announced their engagement. Charlotte's announcement was met with a round of champagne. It proved enough of a distraction to allow Cecily to join them - now dry - in the dining hall. A readjustment of spaces were made and Tessa shifted uncomfortably with Will on her left, Jem on her right, and steely gazed Cecily across from her.

Tessa felt herself go through the motions of eating without really tasting the food. She ate almost savagely using it as an excuse to keep from talking. For some reason she couldn't look at Cecily, she was hyper aware of Will's proximity, and perplexed by Jem's odd behavior.

Dinner ended soon enough. The main dishes were carried away, replaced by a small assembly of tea cakes and cookies. Tessa stared blankly into her teacup before a small sense of pressure urged her back to life. A hand, gentle and rough rubbed over hers soothingly. Having feared earlier that Jem's silence had meant a sudden change in mindset, she almost teared up with joy, she turned to smile at him only to realize Jem was grasping his teacup with two hands. It was not his hand that was tracing small circles over hers, but Will's

Tessa stared blankly at the tea in front of her. To her right sat her husband and to her left sat her husband's best friend, whom traced circles that Tessa had no doubt would burn holes in her skin.


	6. Chapter 6: Judegment

**Author's note: For fun and context, I thought I should give a little background to how i view these characters and the relationship they're trying to form. Story wise Jessa is acknowledged and accepted wholeheatedly by all parties. Will is distraught, but truly wants the best for Tessa and Jem and is trying deperately not to ruin it. Tessa genunely wants and is excited to marry Jem, but feels a bit like a sinner for having feelings for Will and doesn't know how to bring those feelings up with Jem for fear of ruining her impending marriage. Jem is confused. A part of him knows in his heart that there's more to Will and Tessa's relationship than meets the eye, but he's not confident he's right. Plus part of him doesn't want to call Will's feellings out. One, for fear of embarassing his parabatai and ruining their relationship, but also the possibility that Tessa might leave him for the strong, healthier Will. Jem thinks Will and Tessa are perfect for each other but there's a part of him that wants to keep Tessa to himself because he thinks she is a happiness he deserves, besides in his mind he will die soon and Will will be there when he's gone. **

**Will and Jems relationship is something I have a hard time deciding how to portray,to me Will and Jem have been in a relationship (However you want to spin it romantically/ platonically) for such a long time that Jem admiring Will's hair, or Will softening at Jem's laugh is something so ordinary that it never occurs to them their relationship may be borderline romantic. Because Cassandra Clare enjoys playing with the "What if" of this relationship i'm trying to stay true to that characteristic. There is a uniqueness of all three relationsips that really shines when put at odds with each other and i'm having fun trying to flesh out what those relationships look like together and apart. **

**As always thank you for reading. Enjoy.**

The carriage rattled. Jem did his best to ignore the throbbing of his joints and the chill in his bones. He needed yin fen. No, he argued with himself, he wanted it. He did not need it.

His bride-to-be sat as far away from him as the tiny seat would allow. Jem was painfully aware of the gap and said nothing. It would not do to have a lovers quarrel in front of his parbatai whom sat, just as gloomily, across from them.

Jem took a moment to study Will. The hazy London fog forcing his ebony hair to curl around his head like a halo, his clear blue eyes distant, as if he was lost in thought. Will was unusually quiet. Jem has noticed, not for the first time that Tessa's presence has brought out an awkwardness in Will that always bordered outright hostility. As if Tessa left Will so exposed he had no choice but to be hostile or feign ignorance. It appeared today that Will would do the latter. The tension was so palpable it could pratically be it's own person. Jem had orginally hoped it would end in good natured bantere and a heartfelt explanation, but the words to explain his hesitation almost a fortnight ago could not be conveyed.

Jem sighed deeply and felt his companions eyes turn to him. He opened his mouth to speak and suddenly the carriage lurched sideways. He felt his body slam into Tessa. The reinsman shouted and horses cried loudly. He threw his left arm around Tessa as if to shield her from the impact but the carriage righted itself. They were picking up speed and the shouts of startled townspeople indicated this carriage had no intention of stopping. Will was already up, a seraph blazing in one hand and his other braced against the door.

"Don't be mad Will," Jem shouted. A protective arm still wrapped tightly around Tessa, who was wide-eyed and breathing hard, but nontheless present.

Jem's warning fell upon deaf ears as Will kicked mightly at the door, which stubbornly held fast. Frustrated, Will pulled his steele from his pocket and hastily drew a rune on the window, it shattered into pieces and Will hoisted himself just far enough to get his torso through. The wind whipped at his cheeks, stay branches snagged at his shirt.

"OI! Slow down!" Shouted Will. But their reinsman sat stiff as board. Will would deny if anyone asked, but a cold settled in his stomach. No human would sit this calmly as thier carriage threatened to crash. He pushed himself back down through the window.

"Mortmain" said Tessa, her voice thick with her underlying panic. Will nodded silently and turned to lock eyes with his parabatai. Jem merely nodded.

"Do what you can to brace for impact." Said Will gravely. Tessa's flashed him a look of alarm, but Will smiled as if this was all in good fun and with the agility of the likes Tessa has never seen in a man , Will was gone. A sharp thud on the roof of the carriage let her know he hadn't at the very least been trampled.

Tessa felt the panic in her own chest rising. The need to be proactive and the acute awarness of her own lack of skill in combat once again coming into sharp focus. She pushed angriliy at Jem's arm. "Let go of me" She hissed. Jem dropped his arm as if he had been burned, she'd regret her tone later, but right now they had a carriage to stop.

The carriage lurched once again, Tessa couldn't help but let out a small cry as her body was slammed into the left side door. The unnatural sound of machinery being torn apart confirmed her worst fear. Irrationally she lurched herself at the door but a hand caught at her.

Jem caught her arm roughly. A physical strength Tessa did not know he was capable of prevented her from ripping the door open.

"If you die, hurling yourself from the carriage, you'll only make it worse. Wait for Will's cue and then we'll jump." Jem said. He voice was stiff, as if he was preventing himself from shouting at her.

Tessa felt the shame boil in her stomach, who was she to take charge at this time? Nontheless the imagery of Will handling that automaton on his own left her restless.

" We have to do somethi-" she was cut off by Will's voice shouting in the distance. His cry was distorted by the wind whipping through the broken window. What was it? Jem's hand on her tightened and she felt herself being dragged toward the other side of the carriage. Jem struggled,kicking mercilessly at the door. The door held stubbornly. It wasn't normal.

A crunch of heavy metal being sliced through through pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up. A small hole was beginning to form in the roof of the carriage. Dumbstruck, Tessa gaped at the widening hole. Hands, metal hands with the flesh torn back were pulling the hood apart franticly trying to gain access. Franticly trying to gain access to her, Tessa thought.

Her view was cut off suddenly by Jem's jacket, torn open from his struggle with the door. He moved swiftly, thrusting his sword through the whole. a metallic crunch and the following thud of machinery hitting the ground, let Jem know he hit his target. He turned back to the door, now being kicked at just as ruthlessly by Tessa herself. He joined her, gripping tighly onto the grab handle. He felt his body lurch as the door give way. Thanking the angel he was born a shadowhunter, he steadied himself and reached out a hand to Tessa.

"We'll jump"

"Now?!" cried Tessa.

Jem braced himseld. Will's urgent shouts distorted his focus, the wind shipped at his senses and the scenery blurred. The carriage was hurtling past what he assumed was farmland. Better to land in grass, than fall off a cliff. He closed his eyes and waited.

"NOW!" screamed Will from a distance.

Now, thought Jem and with Tessa's hand in his, he jumped.

* * *

Will's body felt the impact before his mind could sense it. His body tumbled before slamming into some poor farmers haystack. He groaned. Pushing himself to an upright sitting position. His hand flew to his heart. The parabatai rune still lay inky black against his chest. He breathed deeply. If Jem was alive so was Tessa. Pain blossomed up his shoulder as he tried to use his hands to stand. Dislocated. His steele was was still in his hand, he quickly scrawled an izrate on his forearm and prayed that would be enough until he could have Jem draw a better one on his shoulder.

He took a few steps forward only to realize he was very much alone. Jem nor Tessa were anywhere in sight, the distant sound of horses neighing frantically let Will know the carriage would be miles out of reach in just a matter of minutes. His chest tightened. Arcres of farmland stretched for miles and miles and - there! A flap of red fabric lilted lazily in the breeze. Will marched forward. Much to his dissapointment, upon closer inspection he realized it was the torn remnants of Tessa's riding hat. A lovely maroon color cut through by a dusty rose ribbon. Tessa had a preference for blues, but Will had always believed red to be her color.

Tessa's hat was an unsatisfying clue, her hat was here, but Will was sure he had jumped last. He decided to move in the opposite direction, away from his runaway carriage.

* * *

Tessa moaned. The sun shone too brightly upon her face. Had she fainted? Everything was over before it had even begun. She remembered the lurching of the carriage, the whizzing of machinery cutting through, Jem's hands gripping hers tightly as they... Jem!

Tessa looked around frantically. Throwing herself to her feet.

"Jem! Jem!" No answer.

"JAMES!" she shouted desperately.

A small chuckle had her whirling around. Her fiance sat a few feet behind her. He sat as though he had luckily found shade under a benevolent tree but his posture and the blood on his collar betrayed him.

Tessa's mind reeled. They were miles from the institute. Too far from any source of yin fen or silent brothers or magical warlocks to get help. In the back of her mind she noted she had yet to see Will, but still she fell to her knees in front of Jem. Gently but urgently seaching his person for any sign of further damage. He was sweating profusely, his pale skin taking on sickly gray color. His eyes were hazy and unfocused. She held his face in her hands and realized it was probably her strength that was keeping him upright.

"Jem. Jem. Love, speak to me. Where are you hurt?" said Tessa in a tone she hoped portrayed comfort, but her voice sounded hysterical to her own ears.

'Will," croacked Jem.

Tessa wanted to laugh, either in annoyance or disblief. Of course Jem's injury would dull in comparison to his missing piece. but her eyes flashed to Jem's chest. A sudden urge to rip his shirt apart just to see if the rune was still there threatened to overcome her. Instead she gently shifted his collar. it was inappropriate, but she tried to cast her own embarrassment aside.

"The rune's still there. Will's fine. It's you i'm worried about." It wasn't true, she wanted nothing more than to get Jem to his feet so they could look for Will but Jem was very much on the verge of collapsing and what then? She couldn't carry him like this. She could shift, but it would be rather odd for a grown man to be trapizing through the country side in a day dress with another man strapped to his back.

"Tessa"

"Yes," but Jem's eyes were closed. He had not spoken.

As if the breeze itself was calling her name, she heard it once again, _Tessa._

She stood, turning in the direction of the sound. There in the distance, although hazy, was unmistakenly the outline of a young man.

"Will" she breathed.

"Will. WILL" she shouted. Desperately waving her arms above her head like a mad woman. She prayed her strained voice would carry, prayed the red of her dress would make her stand out in contrast to the greenery. It felt like hours before Will's image came into better view. He looked battered and bruised. Holding his left arm gingerly. Her heart stuttered. How long had he walked in this state before he found them, she thought. but as he came closer his smile could've outshone the sun.

Her feet moved before her mind did. She raced toward him. Noting, but ignoring the throbbing in her ankle. She flung herself at him. Flinging her arms arounf his waist, which earned a pained groan. Her relief and panic boiling over to the point she heard sobbing before she knew it was her own. She was lucid enough to remember his injury and stepped away from him. She felt his hand stroking her hair soothingly. She blinked at him through teary eyes. His face was pained, he looked like there were hundred things he'd like to say but when he opened his mouth he only asked,

"Where's Jem?"

She led him back silently to the shade, to Jem. The arm flinging and hair patting done as quickly as it started. Her relief fell away to shame and she was slighly suprised that in her current state she had room to chastise her own sins.

They worked wordlessly. Will bending and Tessa helping position Jem in a way she hoped would not add further pressure on Will's shoulder. Jem certianly wasn't heavy, Tessa was positive if not for formalities she could carry Jem herself, nontheless Will buckled slightly as he tried to readjust the pressure Jem put on his shoulder.

The last thing Will wanted to do was head in the direction of their carriage, but given the time before they had been attacked they were relatively close to their destination.

It could have been hours or just a few minutes. Tessa's foggy mind and lethargic steps coudn't allow her to process the time correctly. The throbbing in her ankle left her always a few steps behind Will, who kept glancing behind to make sure she was behind him. She was trying to guess the hour when she bumped into Will, or Jem rather. Jem mumbled softly at the contact and Tessa couldn't help but sigh with relief. It was the first indication besides Will's relatively calm demeanor that Jem wasn't dead. She looked past them. There, just a ten minute walk ahead was the makings of a small town. Relief flooded through her.

"Tessa, help me put Jem down." Said Will softly. She obliged. Will groaned at the pressure, adjusted his sleeve and drew what she now knew to be an izrate on his arm. Will turned then, pulling at Jem's collar to scribble something intricate on his chest. Tessa looked at him questioningly.

" A glamour." Was Will's only reply. Will bent and Tessa once again helped hoist Jem on his back. They carried on, towards town.

The walk into town was quiet but not without many lingering stares. She could only imagine what she looked like. Probably dirty. Her dress was ripped in several places, and she couldn't help but limp. Will, despite his good looks, couldn't have looked much better. He was hunched slightly. if Tessa focused more intently she could see the effects of Jem's glamour. There was Will, in all his glory, hunched like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. If the stares bothered him, Will made no note of it. instead, as if wounding himself up like a music box, Will flashed a devilish smile at the nearest townswoman.

"Tell me love," he drawled, "where's the nearest inn around here? You see, my lady's horses had quite a scare on the road, it wouldn't be right for an upstanding stablehand like myself to leave my miss without shelter," Tessa ignored the slight pang in her chest. She ahd half expected Will to refer to her as his wife, but employer and employee perhaps worked just as well, if not better, why imply the impossible?

Unsprisingly, the woman faltered under Will's gaze and pointed a finger to a rundown townhouse just a few feet away. "R-r-right over there's the inn. Tell the old goat, Bridget sent yuh, yuh sure tah get ah good price that-uh way."

Never one to shirk chivalry, Will place a chaste kiss to the woman's hand and departed with a wink. Tessa looked on, slightly amused, if the woman's face got any redder surely she'd match Tessa's dress!

\\\\\

The Inn was a converted townhouse. Run down with age and unsavory visitors. The clerk was an elderly man. His face so marked by sunspots his real complexion was almost lost. His mouth was permanently twisted into a frown and it only took a gruff hello to realize he was one hell of a drunk. That was fine with Will, who currently had a few cents to his name, having most of his belongings probably being burned in Mortmain's lair by now.

My wife and I need a room for the night" said Will as nonchalantly as he could. He wasn't sure but he thought he saw Tessa startle at the phrase. The clerksman eyed him. His watery eyes traveling over Will's battered person and lingering longer than Will would have liked on Tessa's physique. the keys were handed over with a small "hmph."


	7. Chapter 7: Skin

The door swung open with a low were met by a flurry of dust. Tessa coughed. Will considered holding his breath, but he really couldn't afford fainting at this particular moment. The room was small, oddly rectangular in shape. A meager drawing room had been set up upon entering. A small antique coffee table sat in the middle of the room coupled with two wary looking love seats. The room was roughly cut in half by a large room divider. Past that sat a haggard looking parlor chair, conveniently placed in front of a poor man's fire place.

Will couldn't help but stare at the gratuitously large poster bed. Big enough to fit three people. He swallowed thickly, but the weight on his back and the pain in his shoulder reminded him now was not the time for those thoughts. With Tessa's fretting, he managed to lay Jem ginergerly on the bed. Relieved at finally having a place to rest and the weight off his shoulder he sank to the floor. He closed his eyes leaning to rest his head against the side of the mattress. A warm hand rested gently on his forehead.

Tessa kneeled before him, her eyes warm and gentle despite the exhaustion. Will breathed deeply but did nothing to take her hand away.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly.

"Shouldn't you be nursing that ankle about now?"

"Nevermind my ankle. What about your shoulder? I'm no expert but, G-Gabriel taught me how to wrap injuries during training." Stammered Tessa, the implications of what she was offering not lost on her.

Picking up the same tone he used on the townswomen earlier, Will drawled, "If you haven't noticed my lady, we're well out of things to wrap my shoulder with. Those damn horses ran away with our luggage. I knew we should have just used a portal."

Tessa rolled her eyes and promptly started to rip the lining of her dress apart. Will stared at her incredulously. She merely smiled.

"A proper lady doesn't allow her stable boy to walk around with a bad shoulder."

"Well, my lady, the honor is all yours," said Will, adjusting so that Tessa had better access to his torso

Tessa stalled. Her rationale told her this was purely a matter of survival. A broken Will and an unconscious Jem would only put everyone at further risk. Jem, she thought, her eyes flashing to her fiance, still sleeping peacefully on the bed behind them.

Will watched as Tessa processed what he was trying to say. She breathed deeply as if readying herself. Every now and then her fingers would brush his skin. He wanted her to look at him, but Tessa kept her eyes firmly on her work.

"Does it hurt?" asked Tessa, "When I touch you like this." She had started to wrap the fabric around his chest in a diagonal line to his shoulder.

"Yes," said Will, his voice barely above a whisper.

Her eyes flashed up to him at the response and they stared at each other. She imagined he looked like one of those marble angels, the ones cut from alabaster stone that adorned the gates of the silent city. Glorious and pained. Will was just like that, staring at her like a glorious, pained angel. A physical reminder that she was the reason for his pain internally. She wanted to kiss him. Smooth his hair down and comfort him. Anything to get that expression off his face. She wasn't sure who moved toward the other first but their lips never met. The sheets behind them ruffled, Jem, merely turning in his sleep. They jumped apart, their eyes catching the other's, _Shame. _Will looked away from her and she finished wrapping his shoulder in silence.

**Tessa Pov**

If she could have fled she would but there was no room to flee. Instead she excused herself and moved behind the room divider. The couches were small but they would do. Her dress was uncomfortable against her skin but she didn't have the skill or hands to undo it. Shame bloomed in her chest. What had she done? What she was about to do. If Jem woke, what then? What would she say, _I love you darling, but I also love your parabatai, I am becoming quite sure of that as the days go on. I know you're dying, but I am an awfully selfish woman, do you mind just halting your death so I can spend an equal amount of time with both of you!_

Tessa flung herself down on the couch, overwhelmed and exhausted. She propped her ankle on a pillow and did her best to ignore the smell of mildew. She could have dreamed it, but she thought she felt the warmth of a blanket drape over her.

**Will's pov.**

Will sighed heavily. He felt claustrophobic. The room was too small and his thoughts were far too big. He needed to get out. He stood from his sitting position on the floor, taking a moment to feel Jem's forehead before deciding the fever hadn't gotten the best of him, not yet at least. Besides Tessa was his betrothed now, he trusted her enough to know what to do. He supposed to some degree this place he had occupied next to Jem for so long was not his anymore, the thought only made him long to leave quicker. He took the throw off of the parlor chair, stopping in his haste only once, long enough to drape it over Tessa hunched frame, and disappeared silently into the night.

For such a little town, they certainly knew how to keep themselves busy. A local tavern, just as dingy and tarnished as everything else, was lit by a warm glow, cheerful music and overflowing with bodies. Drunken men staggered left and right. It was hard to tell if they were coming or going. Will pushed past them and nearly took one of their heads off when one of them bumped his shoulder.

He saddled up to the bar counter like he was one of them. His clothes were just as dirty and tattered as everything else in the place, he was sure he fit right in. Besides, his clothes didn't matter, he had his face. His nose wrinkled at the smell coming off the man next to him, he did his best to lean away.

"Oi!" said the man next to him, "what happened to yuh arm," His croaky voice seemingly impossibly loud for such a small man. He smelled like the Thames and looked like he lived close to a sewer. Clearly this man had spent half of his life drunk off his ass, thought Will in minor disgust. Still, how far was he from becoming just like him if he didn't figure himself out soon.

"Oh, nothing, my miss found some trouble on the road an-" Will stopped, a flash of iridescent skin caught his eye from across the bar. Perhaps it was the pain in his arm, the thoughts in his head, or the tarnish of his surroundings, but it never occurred to him downworlders would be in this little town. He looked down at the man next to him whose murky eyes suddenly seemed clearer and more alert than before. Much to Will's discomfort the man leaned closer,

"Yuh see em don't yah? The devil looking things, you see 'em!" The man's voice raised with his own conviction. Will felt eyes on him, better to get away now before starting a small riot. Will made to leave, but a hand clamped down his arm, the man grasping him with a strength Will assumed he didnt have in him.

"You see them, I know you do. You better run boy! Angels aren't meant to mix with devils, run!"

"Enough!" called the barsman, "Earl!"

A burly looking man whom Will immediately decided he did not want to take on in a drunken bar fight seized the drunkard by the collar, effectively releasing Will from his grip. Will took his freedom as a moment to gather his surroundings. The bar was filled with mundanes, but a pointed ear here, and cat eyes there, let him now the likes of him certainly were not from around here. It didn't scare him in the least. Will loved a good downworlder get together, but he had garnered himself far more attention than he needed for one night.

He left amidst a flurry of drunken noise and music, the cool night air hit him hard. He didn't shy from it though, taking it in in heavy gulps. He sat down on the gravel, just outside the bar, his body hidden by a miscellaneous beer barrel. He didn't want to go back to the inn, to Jem, to Tessa….

"Run away then," Will startled, looking up only to find strange eyes looking down at him. He supposed she was pretty in that other worldly, downworlder sort of way. She looked relatively normal, dressed in working clothes, but her velvet riding cape betrayed her status. Her skin was a lovely caramel, too rich to be a farmer's tan; if he looked closely her skin shimmered in the moonlight, taking on a sort of iridescent purple sheen. She had awfully strange eyes, unsettling almost, they were a deep orange, like a manderin, her pupils were too big and dark giving her a doll-like impression.

"You know reading other people's thoughts is an invasion of privacy, miss…"

"Alania,"

Will scoffed, knowing full well she would never give him her actual name, not the one her creator had given her at the very least.

"Why do you laugh shadowhunter? I found it in one of those books your kind like to read so much. I think it's a rather nice name."

Will looked at her, this Alania. Downworlders normally did well to stay far from shadowhunters, from the looks of it she was a minor warlock and young too. Perhaps she was too naive to know better, although Will certainly doubted it.

It was Alania's turn to scoff, "Like what you see, Nephilim?" She asked, noticing his gaze, "And I didn't read your thoughts, I felt them."

Will continued to stare at her, feeling suddenly exposed. It took his parabatai years to knock his outer walls down and this woman had read him like an open book before even asking his name. And she seemed highly pleased with herself too, spouting off everything like it was a game. Frustrated Will stood, squaring himself up. He was sickly, silently pleased to watch her lose her edge even if just a fraction.

"What do you want downworlder? he snarled.

"Oh, just a little fun, that's all. This is an awfully boring town, it's not everyday a fallen angel wanders into the devil's inn. You could've fooled me," she said pleasantly, as if talking about the weather, "For just a moment, you looked as though you belonged there."

"You forget yourself," Will huffed, turning to make leave.

"I can fix that shoulder of yours, I can get you out of here too,"

It felt like an offer too good to be true. It was an offer too good to be true, but Will still felt himself turn around. Now wasn't a good time to be making deals with the devil, but Will just loved something about sinning.

Alania flashed him a wicked smile, her strange eyes abnormally bright in the darkness.

"What's your name?" She asked, extending her hand as if to ask for a handshake. Will grasped it firmly, meeting her gaze dead on.

Will. Will Herondale."


	8. Chapter 8: Sin

**Jem's POV**

Jem wasn't sure what time it was. Only that it had to be early morning and his throat was dry. He willed his eyes to open and for the strength to prop himself up. The first task was the easiest.

Warm hands supported him as he tried to right himself. A soft scent of lavender tickled his nose and he eyes focused on a jade pendant, where it hung strking in contrast, to it's owner's pale skin. He looked up and Tessa shot him a tight smile. He reached for her, but it suddenly dawned on him that they were not alone.

A curious women with even curiouser eyes stared at them unabashedly, as if genuinely excited to see a warm moment between two lovers. Jem felt his cheeks flush under her gaze. Properity had been the least of his concerns until now.

"You must be Jem!" The women's alto voice was suprisingly loud in his ears, he winced. "William has told me so much about you, you're quite a fragile thing aren't you?"

"Enough." The familiarity of Will's voice brought Jem a sense of comfort he didn't know he was looking for. Having woken up despite his body's protest to his fiancee's grim face and a strange women's orange eyes had him wishing he could go back to sleep.

"Oh. Oh my, perhaps I've spoken out of term," said the stranger without a hint of shame.

"James, Miss Alania Beckencourt. Alania, this is Jem, my parabatai."

"My and here I thought parabatai's only existed in the stories."

Will and Jem shared a curious look. _What stories?_

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Beckencourt," Jem saw Tessa visibly wince at the raspiness of his voice. Will frowned in similar concern.

Alania clucked her tongue and shook her head, crossing her arms and staring at Jem like he was part of some sideshow at a circus.

"My, you poor thing. Such a terrible addiction. Your hair certainly isn't dyed, is it? Such nice eyes you have. Truly, it's like you walked out of a storybook"

Jem felt his own annoyance rising, but the cough rising in his chest prevented him from saying anything. He doubled over in a fit. Too many hands were on him at once. Both Tessa and Will had lunged for him and now each of them were awkwardly supporting him on either side. He looked up at Alania through his eyelashes, embarrassed this stranger had seen him at his lowest. She stared at all three of them in fascination. Her orange eyes so bright in comparison to her caramel skin. If it wasn't for her obvious warlock marking, he'd assume she was a gypsy. Her beauty was striking and reminded him of himself when he first arrived in London. He too had been gawked at many times. As if his hair turning white at the age of 12 weren't enough it certainly wasn't everyday someone saw Asian features complemented by a European jawline. _Foreigner._ That's what they called him. Judging by the sympathetic look on Alania's face, perhaps he still was.

He felt a bit trapped under her gaze, it was like she could see through him like she could read his thoughts or sense his emotions. Her eyes flickered between the three of them as if trying to solve a great puzzle and she stepped back from them with a gasp, eyes wide.

"you... you three," Alania paused, a sudden look of great pity pulled her features in a frown, "it surely is a shame what the heart can do. You should be more careful, you all are playing a dangerous game."

Never one for etiquette Will huffed in annoyance. "Enough with your riddles, you said you could help us."

Alania sighed and rather abruptly placed her hand on Jem's forehead. Jem felt Tessa's grip tighten almost painfully on his forearm and tried to beg for understanding through his eyes, he certainly was as caught off guard by the contact as she was. The relief that flooded his senses was instantaneous and he suddenly wanted to throw every bad thought of Alania out of the window. He sighed and slumped against Tessa, his head resting on her shoulder. It was inappropriate but the pain that had kept him on edge all morning was receding and the relief brought on another wave of fatigue as his muscles relaxed. Jem couldn't see the glances being exchanged over his head. But the flash of Alania's smile caught his eye before he fell asleep.

/

**Tessa's POV**

Tessa willed herself to keep her composure. She was already bristling at the fact that not only had Will stayed out most of the night, but had brought a woman back to their lodging no less! Jealousy sat unbridled in her chest and she felt like throwing herself at this woman who had so rudely ignored even the basics of social etiquette and now her fiancee was unconscious! Perhaps London had tamed her, Tessa was New Yorker after all and had more of a fighting spirit. But Will's pleading glance prevented her from taking further action.

"Will either one of you so kindly tell me what exactly is going on here." She spoke gravely, daring them to lie to her.

Will sighed running a hand through his already disheveled hair. His hand was locked protectively on Jem's knee, she wondered if he was even conscious of how close they all were, with this absurd woman staring amusedly at all three of them.

"Alania said she could get us out of here,"

"Correction dear William. I said I could get you out of here, dulling Jem's senses was simply a good deed on my part." Tessa burned at the use of Will's full name on another women's tongue.

"So," Said Tessa, turning on Will with an accusatory glance, " Is this what you were planning to do? Steal away with some strange women in the middle of the night."

Will practically growled, flinging himself up to his feet and turning to face her. "I would never leave my parabaitai you know that."

_But you would leave me_, thought Tessa. She wanted to fling the words at him but reminded herself she had no right. She was engaged, Will was a bachelor. He could run off with a strange woman whenever he wanted.

A chuckle interrupted her thoughts, "My, my, I didn't know I would be at the center of a lover's quarrel when I met you Will, but boy am I glad I took your offer. I am already having so much fun!" There was hardly any malice in Alania's voice, but Tessa felt her own fury boil and she couldn't hold back her temper.

"Do you think this is a game Miss beckencourt? Do you truly believe any of us have the time to be in the midst of a lovers' dispute while trapped in the middle of nowhere, with a dying man and no resources to get home? I imagine this is great fun for you, but may I remind you we're not characters in your storybook!"

Alania stared at her before flashing her a hearty grin, " Miss Grey, whether you like it or not you're already a character in my storybook. In fact, you're the protagonist. if you didn't want to be in the middle of a love affair perhaps you shouldn't have such an easy heart."

"You've gone too far Miss Beckencourt." Snapped Will.

"So quick to defend a woman who isn't even your wife."

Tessa felt tears stab at her eyes and she glared at Will to take Jem's body weight off of her. She stood and made to exit, not hesitating to push past Alania on her way out.

/

**Will's Pov**

"What is wrong with you?" Will hissed once the door had closed securely behind Tessa.

Alania shrugged, "You know what I am Will, I can't help it. Besides I was telling the truth," She frowned at him, the sun had receded at some point and Alania's tangerine-colored eyes were almost crimson in the lack of sunlight. She took a step forward. Subconsciously Will moved to wrap his arm further around Jem's body, having taken Tessa's place next to Jem. Alania smiled, stepping forward until she was directly in front of him, she bent down and brushed cautious fingers against Jem's forehead, smirking when she saw Will visibly stiffen.

Alania straightened and made to leave but not without catching Will's eyes for the last time, "Your fools, all of you."

Will couldn't find the words to disagree and was left alone with his thoughts and a dying boy when the door clicked close.

/

**Tessa's Pov**

The sun was locked away behind a cloud, but the heat clung heavy and hot on her skin. She retreated to the shade of short alleyway next to the inn, using the outer walls of the inn to rest against. She closed her eyes. Her mind was a mess, she was hungry, dirty, and the guilt and jealousy were eating away at her.

"Does it help? Leaning against the wall like that?"

Tessa's eyes flashed open, and she was once again struck by Alania's odd beauty. Her fiery eyes blazed red in the shade of the alleyway. Her mocha skin and ebony hair tucked neatly inside her red riding cloak. She was lovely and different from the haughty women in the city. No wonder Will had struck some kind of deal with her.

"Help with what?" Tessa asked bitingly.

"Your thoughts, I'm sure you have many, I can feel it. I've always wondered what it'd be like to have two boys fight over me? Is it fun stringing them along like that?"

Tessa could've screamed, what did this stranger know about her feelings!

Alania's face turned from playful to sad, "Oh no, it mustn't be very fun. Your aura is so murky."

Tessa couldn't make sense of Alania's words since this morning. Who exactly was this person, why was she talking about her aura, why did she seem to know Tessa's emotions better than herself?

"You know, I can fix that for you. Fix your aura. but first, no one can be happy wearing such a dirty dress. Come one let's get you some new clothes and perhaps a bath."

Tessa just stared at her incredulously. First, she had been insulted to the point of tears and now this woman was offering to give her new clothes!

"What is your goal here Miss Beckencourt?"

"Call me Alania. There's no goal really, you've already given me more than I need." With that Alania turned on her heel, towards the end of the alley. Tessa hesitated.

"Well Tessa, aren't you coming?"

Mustering her courage, Tessa followed her. Everyone has a goal in mind and she was going to figure out Alania's.


	9. Chapter 9: Jealousy

**Author's note: For context I see Alania's appearance kind of like Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, dark skin and bright eyes, with thick hair. She says things sweetly but her words often sting. She can read emotions and sort of feeds off of them so pushing people's buttons is fun for her. I didn't mean for this story to get so melodramatic. I wanted it to be fun and serious at the same time. To be honest i'm discovering the story at the same time you are. Bare with me y'all. As always, stay safe, stay healthy.**

**Updated 6/11/2020 due to grammatical errors**

Tessa was jealous. Jealous of the way Alania's ebony hair cascaded down her back when she removed her cloak. She was jealous of the way the stale sunlight reflected off her expresso-colored skin. She was jealous of the bare ankles that peaked under a faded petticoat. Jealous that Alania apparently had the third floor entirely to herself despite being a young woman. She was jealous of the way Will's full name fell from Alania's lips, and longed for the intimacy to do the same.

Alania's flat rested merrily above the town's tavern. Adorned with bright tapestry that drapped lazily across the window. Her little flat was a fury of vivid colors and ornamental trinkets. Small treasures flowed from one end of the room to the other. A miniature model of the Notre Dame here, a book by French author Victor Hugo was flung face down under a dresser whose draws were half open and closed. Rows and Rows of books in all kinds of languages were kept together with twine. _Fairytales_, most of them were fairytales Tessa noted.

"Oof" exclaimed Tessa in suprise as a deep purple skirt, chemise, corselet and a blouse were thrown at her.

"I don't have much, but those should do for now and as for the bath..." Alania snapped her fingers and the sound of rushing water came from a tucked away corner in the room. A pale, thin curtain had been clipped away slightly with a clothing pin to reveal the corner of heavy metal tub. The casting of shadow on the curtain revealed a pail seemingly refilling itself with water and dumping water, hot and warm, into the tub. Tessa stood dumbstruck at the sight. She figured this was her first time seeing someone use magic for domestic use. Alania must have noticed because she heard a scoff behind her.

"Shouldn't you know how to do something as simple as this? You're can't possibly be a shadowhunter, you have no markings and your aura reads of magic, so you're surely a warlock."

"You'll have to forgive me," said Tessa dryly, "living at the institute and being hunted for what makes me so unique I suppose my mind has been elsewhere."

Alania laughed as if Tessa had just told an amusing story, "Well having to choose between two devishly handsome men certainly can't help, but if I were you I would go with the one that's going to live longer. Better coin for your investment."

Tessa was on the verge of saying several unbecoming curses when Alania pushed her towards the tub; tugging at Tessa's clothing and before she knew it she was sitting stark naked, but delightfully warm in Alania's tub. She couldn't argue if she wanted to, the warmth and promise of being clean wasn't something she could fight. Her ankle ached less and less and she assumed she be good as new once she got out.

Tessa allowed her head to fall back against the back of the tub. Sighing, she closing her eyes_. Well having to choose between two devishly handsome men certainly can't help. Ugh. _She shook her head as if she could chase away the thought. Choosing? How could she choose, this wasn't a matter of choice. She already was tearing their brotherhood apart just by being Jem's fiancee, she wouldn't push such a fragile connection to its breaking point and lose both of them. She supposed she saw her own broken heart in both and wanted to save them or maybe save herself. If she lost them now, who would she be? What would she be? If she were to lose either Jem or Will would she even have a place at the institute without them? Although technically impossible she felt like she was running out of time everytime Jem so much as coughed. Her thoughts went back to this morning. _I would never leave my parabaitai, you know that. _That's what Will had said to her. He would always come back for Jem that much she was sure of, but when Jem is gone, would he come back for her? Alania's humming in the background made her think otherwise.

Contemplating her love life wasn't the reason she was here and she got busy working the grime of the previous day off, she had questions that needed to be answered.

* * *

**Will's POV**

"Do you need help" he asked Jem as he assissted him into the bath. He had found some well water and used the trips back and forth to sift through his confounded thoughts. Jem shook his head and took the wash cloth.

"It's rather rude to stare William." Will shook his head.

"My apologies, your skin is like alabaster, you could rival the Roman temples, nay the Gods them-"

"Enough Will."

Caught off guard by the sudden mood change Will looked down, Jem's hair was slightly darkened by the water and Will thought for a just moment it was a real shame neither one of them would live to see it's natural color.

"What's wrong."

"Talking about my innermost workings is something I rather do fully dressed."

"Come on! Don't all men do their best thinking in the bath."

"Not all men have their parabaitai accompany them to the bath."

"Even better. Talk to me. I'll be your conscience."

If looks could kill Will figured he'd be dead by now considering the look Jem gave him and took it as his cue to exit. He found a chair and sat on the other side of the partition wondering vaguely when Alania's magic would wear off, but more importantly the sun was starting hang lower in the sky and Tessa hadn't come back in what felt like hours. He was starting to get nervous.

Lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed the droplets of water making small patterns on his shoulder.

"Jem, you'll never believe it but I do say it is indeed raining upon me."

Jem who had been deliberately standing over him, letting the water fall from his hair onto Will's shoulder in hopes of shaking him from his reverie, chuckled and begun wringing his hair out with a stray cloth. Will had also found him a shirt that hung a bit too loose around his shoulders, but Will had told him it was a gift for the ladies, when he had protested.

"What's wrong," Will asked again.

Jem sighed deeply. "We're miles away from the institute with no source of yin fen in sight, my fiancee is missing and potentially been abducted by a stranger you willing brought in here, the magic is fading, and I'd give myself a week, maybe less." Jem had said it lightheartedly, but his face was grim.

Will always felt like shaking Jem wiidly when he went into his mortality fits. He wouldn't die and yet he would and Will knew that, but he wasn't going to admit it, not until Jem was on the pyre. Even then, he wasn't sure he'd really believe it.

"You have a wedding to attend to first, you can leave after that."

"Will."

"Besides you can't leave Tessa standing at the alter, that never looks good."

"Will"

"And.. and for what its worth, Henry, Gabrial, Gideon and I were thinking of throwing you a bachelor party. You know one last night of freedom before your damned for the rest of eternity with one woman."

"WILL!" Screamed Jem, the playful fabrication finally breaking.

"I am begging you to take my life seriously for just one moment."

That sobered Will quickly.

"You don't think I take your life seriously," Said Will, his voice hiking as if to laugh. "Do you think this a joke to me? Can't you see I'm taking your life seriously? Why do you think I brought Alania here!"

"Am I really the only reason you brought Alania here, Will? " Jem pleaded, begging Will to just tell him what he already knew. But he needed to hear it, needed to confirm it through Will's own mouth.

Will just stared at him, hard and accusatory. "If not for you, than whom?"

Jem fisted his pants, "Tessa-"

"Don't. Don't make this about her."

"Will just tell me-"

"ENOUGH!" Will shouted and Jem was taken aback. He could hardly recall a time when Will had actually raised his voice at him. Jem finally met his gaze, Will looked unhinged, like Jem had just unlocked Pandora's box in front of him. Perhaps he just did.

"Enough," he said, quietly this time. "I will not... I would never... your life is the only thing that matters now. So don't ask me something you know I can't answer.

Will stalked towards the bath and Jem sat alone with his thoughts.

* * *

**Tessa POV**

The corselet settled just a little too tightly around her waist, She eyed herself in the mirror. She looked.. well she looked like Alania. The corselet's tightness took in her curves and the soft yellow blouse's scooping neckline revealed more of her... assests than she would've liked. Tessa was taller than Alania so her ankles were exposed, she looked more like a woman of the night than the proper city girl she was just a day ago. The thought of how Jem and Will would recieve her embarrassed her greatly but she still marched confidently from the dressing table. Besides, no one knew her here and once she left they'd forget all about her.

Alania had kept herself busy, wrapped in a weathered blanket with a book in her hand.

"You must really enjoy reading" Said Tessa, taking the opportunity for small talk as an outlet for looking around. She started with stack of books in what appeared to be Latin in the corner.

"Well it certainly helps the time go by when you have forever."

The statement wasn't lost on Tessa who couldn't quite fathrom yet the impossibility of forever.

"I like stories," said Alania a bit wistfully. "Good stories, even when you finish, they hardly leave you."

"Books are definitely more constant than people." Said Tessa. She had moved on to another rack in the farthest corner of the room. The words were tangled mess of letters and characters she thought were familiar and yet entirely unrecognizable.

"Affaalon"

"Pardon me?"

"Affaalon, it's one of the warlock languages. Really what do they teach you in that institute?"

Tessa knew of some shadowhunters that could speak certain warlock tongues, but had never given thought that perhaps, like mundanes and shadowhunters, downworlders also had a rich diversity of their own.

"Their a bit busy touting their supremacy." Said Tessa, remembering the accusatory glances "pure" shadowhunters had given her.

That gave Alania a good laugh. Tessa moved towards the back of the room closest to Alania dressing table, something glittered and she stooped to pick up a book. The leather had withered and torn in some places, gold swirls intertwined with each other, interlocking in a series of circles and loops. There was no title. Tessa glanced behind her and Alania appeared to be wrapped up in her book once again. Tessa took her distraction as a chance to look through it. Certainly curiosity will kill her one day. To her great dissapointment the book was ineligible, just a bunch of writing she couldn't comprehend, smuged and faded with time, but there were pictures on every page. Depictions of mothers and their newborns, a maiden waiting in an invory tower, a boy and a beanstalk that touched the sky, a book depicting a thousand tales, and more. There were mermaids, and sunken ships, warlocks wreaking havoc on mundanes, shadowhunters spilling downworlder blood, Angels casting their fury on their betrayers, gruesome scenes of things Tessa couldn't even begin to comprehend. She flipped forward, there on the last page was a girl milk chocoloate tresses in a red day dress seemingly asleep in the middle of her two lovers. One with unmistakable white hair and the other's dark as midnight. All three of them apparently tied together as if by the strings of fate.

"You shouldn't spoil the ending like that,"Tessa yelped and dropped the book. She turned, Alania remained in her chair but was glaring at her. The sun had shifted lower in the sky and Alania's bright eyes stood out alarmingly in the shade.

"What is the meaning of this?"

Alania stood and Tessa deliberately moved closer to the door in case she needed to flee, but Alania simply walked past her, picking up the book with loving care, and dusting it off. Alania opened the book to the page Tessa had left on and smiled warmly at the story only she could read.

"I told you, you're already a part of my storybook."

Tessa fled.


End file.
